Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Entertain me!


Today is my day off. I'm sitting in the back of Stumptown Coffee, reading Google News and alternately conversing with my good friend and former roommate Jake. And I am bored. I've been busy lately, working doubles, running errands, hanging out. But I am still bored.

Wikipedia defines boredom thus:

"Boredom is a state of mind in which one interprets one's environment as dull, tedious, and lacking stimuli. There is an inherent anxiety in boredom; people will expend considerable effort to prevent or remedy it, yet in many circumstances it is accepted as an inevitable suffering to be endured."

I feel that anxiety. I need to fill my time with something, some purpose. I guess, in a small way, this blog is an attempt at preventing/easing/remedying my boredom.

On a grander scale, however, I just miss school. I miss being forced to consider issues and write 'lofty' papers on theology or social issues. I miss reading thick books with lots of things to say.

I suppose my boredom stems from laziness. I need to challenge myself more while I am not in school. To that end, I've been trying to read "The Sun Also Rises" by Hemingway. It hasn't held my attention. I've started and put down a few other books, as well.

I'm thinking of writing some kind of memoir. Talking about life up til now, and pondering it a little along the way. A Donald Miller-esque work, I suppose.

Well, my coffee's getting cold and I am bored writing this, so I'm going now.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Wrist Pain and Trust Issues


I have tendonitis in my right wrist. I guess eight years of carrying trays finally caught up with me. The good news is, if I take care of myself and let it rest, it won't be permanent.

Then why am I typing?

Because I am seeing an opportunity in this to remind myself, and my one or two readers, of the encouragement and admonition Jesus gave in the Sermon on the Mount, and Paul (as well as others) echoes throughout Scripture.

I've been asking a few questions: "Why me? Why now? Will I be able to go back to work? When? What about my brakes and rent and my cell phone and food? I was just starting to get on top of my bills, and now this!" I've had a bit of a pity-me party.

I want to complain, really I do. And maybe in saying I want to complain, I am complaining. Hmm, deep.

As much as I would rather not, I have to see this as a blessing. I've not had a day off in over two weeks. I've been going non-stop between my jobs. I also have a girlfriend, church, roommates and various other commitments. Being unable to work has allowed me to rest, and to invest in these other things a little more.

I would be lying to say that I am not a little stressed out about the money. I do have legitimate need of it, in order to meet commitments (rent, cellie, utilities, debt payments, car insurance, etc.)

Ironically, our church has been meditating on Philippians this last month, and in chapter 4, as he thanks the Philippian church for their generosity toward him, Paul makes this profound statement, "...I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

I want to learn that contentment, too. To know (not just cognitively, but in my heart) that I truly can make it. That it is not through my own power, but through the Lord's.

Paul also reminds the church to petition the Lord for their needs. He says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

He knows what I need, and he will provide.

The truth is, even if I don't have enough money to get my brakes done or buy a new book or take Saralyn out for dinner - I still have plenty. I am still well-fed. I have a roof over my head (at least until the next rent check is due). I have it better than at least 80% of the world's population. Look at the slums of Calcutta, where Mother Theresa labored her life away for the poor and forgotten. Look at the swollen bellies of African babies. Look at the shacks, diseases, poverty of these people. Look in their eyes, and tell them you don't have enough.

It is by the grace of God that I will have food in my belly, and a roof over my head. If he takes those things from me, as well, then "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

Thursday, February 1, 2007

hello. from portland.


This is my city. For now. I live here, and in a lot of ways, I am restless. I don't feel quite at home. This place doesn't pull at me. I miss Seattle. I would like to visit New Orleans. San Diego and L.A. seem like fun. I want to travel: Beijing, Bangkok, Mogadishu, Beirut, Dublin, Glasgow, Sydney, Wellington, Marseilles, Rome, Jerusalem, Thermopylae, Athens... I could go on!

But I am here, and I am okay with it. I have business in Portland still. And that is okay.

So, hello from Portland - home, for now. Oh, and happy February 1st.